As I stand writing my short story On A Good Day on my laptop, listening to Above and Beyond’s (A&B) song Alone Tonight, smiling about their upcoming concert (and hoping that I make that concert happen for me), and smiling at where Ka and Eton’s relationship is going in the story, I decided to make blog my first journal entry for the new year. I am sanguine about what this new year of 2016 will hold for me. Last year I could already tell that things had been changing for me. They were subtle, but noticeable changes that happened towards the end of August. Now I am ready to make positive and proactive things happen for me for 2016. I have to take control of my life instead of moping and complaining how static things have always been for me. If I am to make change, I have to willingly participate in life. I have to cease those thoughts that people—strangers including people that I know—are judging me. Because when I think about it, it is really just me judging myself. And as everyone knows, we are our own worst critics. In order to look favorably at myself, I must recognize all the good qualities about myself. I enjoy writing fiction (I picked it up again in the past 3 months) and it has proven to be a great outlet for my creativity, in addition to showing me a lot of insight to who I am as person. I never thought that writing about somewhat fictional characters would allow me to learns some things about myself. I was surprised, to say the least, that this new knowledge about myself brought an actual smile to my face. I am a good person and need to not be so harsh on myself when it comes to my negative actions. I just need to live in the moment and thank that I am fucking alive and have a great family support system. Being negative is not productive and just gets me nowhere. It just keeps me where I was pre-August 2015. I have been socially challenged all my life. My Social Anxiety Disorder has been a pain in my ass forever. I have seen a therapist and a psychiatrist and have been on drugs for it. While I have seen some of its benefits, I have yet to allow myself to fully embrace all that I have learned. It’s hard when I wrestle with this constant companion of mine since I was very little. Saying goodbye to something that I have known most of my life is very hard. I can’t just forget how it had comforted me in times where I was just too afraid to put myself out there. Literally the thought brings me to tears. That is where music comes in. Music has honestly saved my life, particularly Trance music. While I have always loved Trance music, I pay more attention to the lyrics now. A&B have a song called on A Good Day that holds immense meaning to me. The lyrics opens my eyes to the possibility that my life can be great and is great. I just have to allow myself to know myself a little better. I fucking love this song. Everyone should listen to it or at least read its words. I am getting a little bit weepy as I write this. My intentions for this new year to make new connections with people. While not trying to immediately overload them with my issues, I will let them know that I am new at this and will inform them that a little compassion towards it will go a long way. From good friendships comes great rewards. Well, that is all for now. I am not one for keeping up on my blog writing, I will endeavor to write more for 2016 will also be a year of sticking to committments. A thanks to all that get a chance to read this. Have a great new year! Now back to writing my story and listening to A&B.